I'm Going To Miss This

Motherhood is fleeting in a way. Our pregnancies, in retrospect-fly by, as do those early newborn you don't know if it's day or night, or if you're coming or going phase. Then things start to settle down and in the blink of an eye the first year has past and you marvel at how much your baby has grown and perhaps you think to yourself, I can't believe I'm doing this, I am a MOM. Somewhere between their first piece of birthday cake and the sticky mess that ensues you may even access in the back of your mind how much you've grown this first year and how the love for your little one has grown exponentially and far faster or greater than you ever thought possible.Yes. Motherhood is fleeting. Before we know our little babies are toddlers who staunchly say to you, "I do it. I DO IT!" When-in a rush to get out the door for some appointment you are inevitably late to you try to dress them, or put their tiny shoes on their little feet. But, the look of determination and independence on their precious face causes you to pause. To take a deep breath and sit and watch and count your blessings that you get to bear witness to and be apart of this very mundane, yet so very important part of your child's development.When, after what seems like an eternity by that ever ticking hand on your watch the shoes are on and your ready to go out the door you can't help but smile and be proud at their major accomplishment a mirror no doubt of your child's face.Before you know it, it's the first day of school and you're putting on your brave face while you can't believe how amazing your child is doing. You wait and watch them, and when you think they're not going to look for you-for one final good-bye before their new adventure begins you see it and smile. Yes. Motherhood is fleeting, and while I'm reminded of Shakespeare's As You Like It, suddenly while I write this; I can't help but smile at my boys- who at this very moment have dumped their toys (they should be cleaning up) and are hiding under the baskets pretending to be superheros in disguise. It's no Norman Rockwell scene, but what about motherhood, childhood, or life in general for that matter really is? Motherhood is messy. It's exhausting and magical, frightening and empowering, it can make you feel completely alone and like you belong to a special sisterhood-in short-motherhood is hard work. It is with-out-a-doubt the most important thing I will ever do. Somedays I want to pull my hair out, then others I wipe tears from my eyes when I'm struck by how blessed I truly am.Earlier today I had just such a moment, when my little Evan awoke up from his nap-his eyes still half closed, blanket and his kitty cat in tow; a,"I'm still tired, and why are you not still laying next to me?" whine escaping from his lips.  I scooped him up into my arms where he fell right back to sleep. He's not done that for some time and I couldn't help but recall all those precious moments when he was brand new. When I sat and held him while he slept, then I thought of Michael and how much he's grown in six years and how I'm looking forward to, albeit with a slight trepidation (How I wish they could stay little just a while longer!) for all the firsts and everything else that life has in store for us. I couldn't help but think how much I'm going to miss these days when my boys still come to be for cuddles and to kiss bruised knees.Once we become mothers we are mothers for the rest of our lives, but  it's not fair that our time with our little ones passes so quickly.  I plan on being even more mindful of how short childhood really is, and take the time to basque in the little things that when it's all said and done  my children will remember and I will look back upon fondly. I will not think about the late appointments, or how-for instance it's taken me just two hours to write this post, because in those two hours I've stopped to roast marshmallows over our stove for an impromptu treat, I've blown raspberries at a toy cannon, and did forward rolls on our living room floor. Two hours filled with laughter, and tickles of silly faces and big round eyes full of wonderment. It was two hours well spent and although motherhood is fleeting, I intend to soak up every last second!xo,Save

I'm Going Home...

I can't believe in less than a month we'll be on our way "home".Miami is where we (my husband and I) grew up and ultimately it's the place we still think of as home. Even though we've not lived there since we were married nearly ten years ago.I've got so much to do. I haven't started packing yet. We just moved into our current residence last September and the very thought of packing up and moving again is daunting-especially around the holidays.  I am focusing on the positive, (if you don't know this about me I am nauseatingly optimistic) I am very happy we managed to get our home sold this summer-so we're not having to deal with that stress-now that we have real live official orders. Most of our stuff is still in storage so what I will have to pack up will very much like a warm Spring breeze off of the Biscayne Bay instead of like tropical storm force winds.There is a very small...minute really, problem.I'm not exactly sure how I feel about living in Miami again.That's not to say that I'm not happy my boys and I are able to be in Miami with family and friends while my husband is off on the other side of the world, serving a two year remote tour. It's just that it's Miami. It's a wonderful city in so many ways and in a thousand others it's not.  On the top of my reasons why it's not the greatest place to live. Miamians tend to be rude.  And as I'm sure you know rude people suck. My friends tell me Miami has changed in many ways-unfortunately the people haven't become politer.I'm not going to let that get me down though. Nope. Not I.  I'm going to be back in Miami-the shopping and food alone are reasons to put a smile on my face. Add in the fact that I will get some time to my self now and again (we'll be staying with my in-laws which is the equivalent to a live in babysitter and chef).  I will get to spend some much needed girl time with my good friends, I'll get to take my little cousins (who aren't so little by the way) out and at the top of my list- I will get to spend spend lots and lots and lots of time with my grandmother-which definitely puts big smile on my face and is way better than all of the awesome shopping...and food!love and salsa music,
P.S. Consider yourselves forewarned...Once I am back in Miami I can't promise you that I won't write in Spanglish.

To Bang or Not to Bang?

I have a very big decision to make. It's huge! If I decide to go through with it, not only will it be a major change it's a serious commitment. One that I'll have to deal with for-at the very least-a few months. The decision I'm currently mulling over is whether or not I should change up my look and go with bangs.For the last several years (more like a decade) I've been anti-bangs when it comes to myself because I wore them pretty much from the time I was 12 all the way up through my senior year of high school. In my early twenties when I opted to go the bang route I seriously hated it.I went to my stylist armed with a photograph of Julia Roberts in StepMom.I looked cute enough-but in my early twenties I wanted to appear sophisticated and elegant. Bangs tossed me right back into looking like I was seventeen again. Admittedly when I was twenty I did look like I was seventeen.Which brings me to today and this decision I've got to make. I've been considering re-visiting the whole bang thing for a few weeks now and I'm pretty sure I made up my mind but just for fun I decided to play around a bit. While on my trusty iPhone I came across this app called "Hair Make Over". It's basically a virtual makeover thing-a-ma-bob and its a lot of fun. You can't change the hair color of the hairstyles but since I've actually been all of the colors I choose that was inconsequential to me.So what do you think, bangs? or no bangs? I've already made up my mind.In case you were wondering, my natural hair color most closely resembles number 5. My current hair style is pretty much number 15, and right now my current hair color is a close match to number ten. That's also the look I'm going for.I've also at one point or another had my hair at all of these lengths and yes, I've tried all of these hair colors and then some.What's that?You feel like singing Karma Chameleon?Karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon. You come and go, you come and gooooooooo!Save

What's going on in my head...Haiku

There they are floatinga flying, crashing, deluge.Ideas, passion. Words.

I just wrote this lovely little haiku in an attempt to express the desire I have had of late to create. To write. To craft. To learn new things. To explore. I've been banging my head against a wall (figuratively speaking of course) trying to decide what sorts of things I want to fill my etsy shop with (prim things). When it occurred to me that my need to create is really only my desire to write. To sit down, and actually write. Something I've not done in a while. Between getting our house ready to sell, the going about of selling it, the packing, the moving, the MOVING! We are finally settled in. Yes, there are a few boxes here and there that we really have no place for and a storage unit that is literally bursting at the seams but we're settled and I am feeling rejuvenated and inspired.

I'm going to let this deluge of creative desire wash over me. I'm going to enjoy it, savor it and spend a lot of time with my butt in this lovely comfy chair the hubs bought for my tush whose job it is to keep me comfortable while I go about sitting in it, with my hands unfolding over my keyboard; typing as fast as they can go in a storm of word vomit.

To Tattoo...a Reminder

There are two tattoos that I REALLY want to get. The first is on my ankle/foot area that reads "keep graceful dancing" - it's from one of my favorite Blue October songs and will be in honor of my grandmother who no matter what life threw out at her, could always manage to dance through it. I also think it is from her that my own mother got much of her strength from and in turn, I get my own inner strength from my mom, who also manages to continue to rejoice and enjoy all that life has to offer and dance when ever the opportunity arises no matter what life throws at her. So I suppose in a way it will be an homage to, the two most important women in my life. The two women who some of my earliest memories include being spun around in dance.

The second is on on my right wrist and the words "dream dust" a quote from this Langston Hughes poem.

Dream DustGather out of star-dust,Earth-dust,Cloud-dust,Storm-dust,And splinters of hail,One handful of dream-dust,Not for sale.- Langston Hughes

This poem is particularly meaningful to me, because I strongly believe in the power of our dreams and holding on to them. This will serve as a little reminder to me-to never loose faith in my own dreams.The hubs is against the idea of me getting a tattoo on my wrist. What do you all think? Yay or nay? If you remember I posted a while back that I wanted a white one...but I've not heard a whole lot of good things about white tattoos (even though I still really want one) I think a lighter color on my wrist would be great...Photo: weheartit.com