I'm Going To Miss This
Motherhood is fleeting in a way. Our pregnancies, in retrospect-fly by, as do those early newborn you don't know if it's day or night, or if you're coming or going phase. Then things start to settle down and in the blink of an eye the first year has past and you marvel at how much your baby has grown and perhaps you think to yourself, I can't believe I'm doing this, I am a MOM. Somewhere between their first piece of birthday cake and the sticky mess that ensues you may even access in the back of your mind how much you've grown this first year and how the love for your little one has grown exponentially and far faster or greater than you ever thought possible.Yes. Motherhood is fleeting. Before we know our little babies are toddlers who staunchly say to you, "I do it. I DO IT!" When-in a rush to get out the door for some appointment you are inevitably late to you try to dress them, or put their tiny shoes on their little feet. But, the look of determination and independence on their precious face causes you to pause. To take a deep breath and sit and watch and count your blessings that you get to bear witness to and be apart of this very mundane, yet so very important part of your child's development.When, after what seems like an eternity by that ever ticking hand on your watch the shoes are on and your ready to go out the door you can't help but smile and be proud at their major accomplishment a mirror no doubt of your child's face.Before you know it, it's the first day of school and you're putting on your brave face while you can't believe how amazing your child is doing. You wait and watch them, and when you think they're not going to look for you-for one final good-bye before their new adventure begins you see it and smile. Yes. Motherhood is fleeting, and while I'm reminded of Shakespeare's As You Like It, suddenly while I write this; I can't help but smile at my boys- who at this very moment have dumped their toys (they should be cleaning up) and are hiding under the baskets pretending to be superheros in disguise. It's no Norman Rockwell scene, but what about motherhood, childhood, or life in general for that matter really is? Motherhood is messy. It's exhausting and magical, frightening and empowering, it can make you feel completely alone and like you belong to a special sisterhood-in short-motherhood is hard work. It is with-out-a-doubt the most important thing I will ever do. Somedays I want to pull my hair out, then others I wipe tears from my eyes when I'm struck by how blessed I truly am.Earlier today I had just such a moment, when my little Evan awoke up from his nap-his eyes still half closed, blanket and his kitty cat in tow; a,"I'm still tired, and why are you not still laying next to me?" whine escaping from his lips. I scooped him up into my arms where he fell right back to sleep. He's not done that for some time and I couldn't help but recall all those precious moments when he was brand new. When I sat and held him while he slept, then I thought of Michael and how much he's grown in six years and how I'm looking forward to, albeit with a slight trepidation (How I wish they could stay little just a while longer!) for all the firsts and everything else that life has in store for us. I couldn't help but think how much I'm going to miss these days when my boys still come to be for cuddles and to kiss bruised knees.Once we become mothers we are mothers for the rest of our lives, but it's not fair that our time with our little ones passes so quickly. I plan on being even more mindful of how short childhood really is, and take the time to basque in the little things that when it's all said and done my children will remember and I will look back upon fondly. I will not think about the late appointments, or how-for instance it's taken me just two hours to write this post, because in those two hours I've stopped to roast marshmallows over our stove for an impromptu treat, I've blown raspberries at a toy cannon, and did forward rolls on our living room floor. Two hours filled with laughter, and tickles of silly faces and big round eyes full of wonderment. It was two hours well spent and although motherhood is fleeting, I intend to soak up every last second!xo,