ilovehimhelovesme imisshimhemissesme
We're smack dab in the middle of a two year remote tour. It's a small world, until the one you love is on the other side of it.It's been 1 year, 2 months, 11 days since his first flight took him towards his duty. 10 months, 4 days later he flew home for three short weeks of R & R.It's been 3 months, 3 days since I waved good-bye (again).It's been 94 days since I've seen his face (in person). (Thank God for Skype!)13 weeks since I kissed him.2256 hours since I've fallen asleep to his lullaby snores.135,360 minutes since I whispered I love you's in his ear.8,121,600 seconds I've taken it one moment at a time. At least 295 days remain in this tour (probably more.)Who's counting? xxoo
Fearless -The Story of Adam Brown - Son, Husband, Father, Friend, Hero
This book was brought to my attention -it's now on my "must read" list. Had to share.Fearless is the story of Adam Brown, a man of extremes, whose courage and determination was fueled by faith, family, and the love of a woman. It’s about a man who waged a war against his own worst impulses and persevered to reach the top tier of the US military. Always the first to volunteer for the most dangerous assignments, Adam’s final act of bravery led to the ultimate sacrifice.
The Days Are Swirling Past - Much to Fast
Gosh...who knew three weeks could feel like three days. I'm trying not to think about Sunday. I'm really trying not to think about the days, weeks, and months that will follow. It will inevitably suck at first. We're going to feel his absence. It will be permeable. A thick fog swirling about our feet.
This is the life we chose. I just don't want to feel like my entire year was spent walking through a fog. Hazy, grey, and dull. I want so much for that feeling to be left behind in 2011. For my kids I'm going to try and make this year better than last. I'm going to try to pack so much fun into it that when they're older and they remember the two years spent with out their father they'll say, "Yeah it sucked, but we still managed to have fun and enjoy life."
For myself I'm really going to focus on myself. My goals. My ambitions. My desires for my own life.
I'll talk about that in detail later...
Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst
I was reminded yesterday how fragile life really is.In a heartbeat things can change.
Which got me to thinking about sad things, but things that as a parent, one must think about and prepare for; the most important being, what would happen to my children should I pass from this life?Morbid I know...Of course the first thing to do his "hope for the best, but plan for the worst." One of the first things to do when planning for such a catastrophe is to get life insurance. Thank fully my husband and I have insurance through the Air Force. A while back I wondered if it would be enough and found I had no answer to this question. My first instinct was, although it's a sizable amount, I don't think it would be sufficient. When I’m in doubt about something I Google it and I discovered that for life insurance one should have enough coverage to pay off any expenses or debts, then enough for you dependents to live off of. I found this handy insurance calculator that was very helpful and through my research found many companies offer an online life insurance quote as well as companies who provide insurance with no medical exam.As I mentioned before, my husband and I are lucky, we’ve got some life insurance through the military, and we’re also members of a great company called USAA which only serves the military and their families and is the company we use for all of our financial planning.It’s hard to think about these things, making wills, planning for the inevitable, but it’s something that we as parents must do.
Long Separation In A Big, Big World
My husband left this morning and as I write this I'm feeling okay. Ask me in a few days...or even in a few hours how I feel and that-of course could completely change. I am, right now more worried about our children. My eldest seems perfectly fine at the moment but last week he was one hot mess! He'd lament to me about how much he was going to miss me, while at school big wet tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes. I had the sinking suspicion that it was not me he was really going to miss but his father. Then one night...as we both put our boys to bed Michael, crying and we-unable to calm him down finally expressed what he'd been holding in. He said in the most heart wrenching fashion, "I have a big hole in my hear
t." My husband and I could only stare at each other over the top of his head as it rested on my shoulder. It was not what we expected to hear from our precocious six year old.
We gave him a great big hug and loved on him till he fell asleep. In the morning he seemed better and his crying at school eased. Today there were no tears when I dropped him off at school-but I think that's because we were running late and there really was no time for tears.
I'm sure I didn't help matters much when he saw my eyes well up with tears when we dropped his father off at the airport. This is the first long term separation our family is going to have in five years. Michael will eventually understand what we mean when we say Daddy's got work to do for the Air Force.
Later in the day I got on Google Earth and showed him where his daddy was going and he seemed to get it. It was still a virtual representation of the space and distance between us and that is when I remembered this old globe (it's from way back when the USSR was around) we discovered while moving in and cleaning up my brother in law's old bedroom. I traced along the states from our location in Miami and then the great big Pacific to where he was going and then I showed Evan. I think Michael finally understood just how far away he'll be and that we couldn't drive there. As for Evan, he just asked when we were going to go pick up his daddy at the airport.
I couldn't tell him when, so I just told him not today. He then asked if he was at our apartment and I told him no. I think he may be getting it that his Daddy is actually far, far, away.
The world seems really big right now.
It could be worse. We'll get to talk and email and Skype, a lot of military families don't have that luxury right now. I'll take it!
Time is Disobliging
Husband leaves on Monday....Two years is not such a very long time in the grand scheme of things...Right?
Van O' Stuff
We didn't get to bed last night till sometime after 3am this morning. As I write this (from my iPhone) I'm sitting in ourvan with my boys outside of my husband's building while he's out-processed and debriefed. We didn't get to bed till the weehours because my husband was busy packing up this Honda for our Odyssey to Miami.
The stuff is packed in tighter than sardines. Yet we still manage to have a bunch of stuff still in our apartment. So far this morning we went to rent a car only to decide once there that it would actually be smarter and more economical to ship our extra stuff. To clarify why we have so much extra stuff when the movers were in our apartment packing up our things last week is because I decided that there were some things I could not trust to them. You may wonder if it was my jewelry, television, or prized scrapbooks? Nope. It was four boxes of my favorite books and my computer and laptops. It is because of these items and a few other incidentals (5 suitcases) that we're in this crazy-hectic-and-mostly-stressed-out scenario. We wanted an Olea Family Adventure and once this van is unpacked and repacked we'llbe on our way. Yes, we are nothing if not thorough. We're like the Griswalds-only cuter!