Well, I don't have cancer.... Skin Biopsy Results
The results of my biopsy came in last week. I don't have cancer. The cells on my back remain "a-typical" and unchanged since my last biopsy, which means they still need to be closely watched. I've an appointment with a local dermatologist this week to discuss my results. I felt I needed to have someone here who I can go see whenever I needed as opposed to the dermatologist at the base clinic who is here sporadically at best.I know I've been sort of an absentee-blogger for a while now. The last two years I was sort of put off it-or rather felt off my game (if that makes any sense to you), and more recently- in all honesty- I've not felt like blogging...Or even writing for that matter. I've never, not had the desire to write. I think it had a bit to do with a lack of excitement for what I was writing and being a bit over whelemd. Because I've certainly had plenty of ideas and inspiration, I've just not had the desire to put anything down yet.I think I just needed some time to sort of mull things over and to just, well, be. To allow myself time to adjust...to everything. Moving in and of itself is exhausting. Moving to a foreign country quadruples the exhaustion and stress factor. Add in parenting, re-connecting with a spouse you've been away from for two years, and the possibility of skin cancer, well you can see where a girl needed sometime to just reflect and live her life...I've reflected. I've adjusted (as much as one can in a relatively short period of time) and my family is once again a whole unit. I feel incredibly blessed and lost, and found, and very human.I'm ready to share all of that with you.I do promise to start blogging more - with my goal to get back to the days where I'd post something - even if it was just a picture every day.As for my writing, that's also going to get done everyday again. As it should be. It's good for me. I need the creative outlet. It feeds my soul.xo,nicoleP.S.I also have a birthday at the end of this month and this birthday is sort of a "big" one. I feel stupid writing that. Shouldn't every birthday be a big one? I always get a little depressed around my birthday - but I think I've gotten past that this year, or so I hope.Last year my husband promised he'd take me to Venice for my birthday. As it turns out the boys have swim lessons that end on my big three-five, and hotel rooms are 500 and something Euro a night. I'm thinking the day after might be a better deal. Still I can't complain. It is Venice after all!
Drink Up Life: Do not waste your dolce vita!
The other night as I was rearranging my kitchen counters, I experienced yet another one of my "epic" moments of clumsiness.I managed to trip over my own feet and drop a bottle of wine I'd been saving for a "special occasion".As I watched the bottle crash to the floor I couldn't help but think, the spirits must have been thirsty. I followed that thought by "it's good luck!" Which I say, when anything semi-bad happens.As I gingerly collected the shards of glass, and moped up my floor, I couldn't help but think thirsty spirits are really annoying, and probably regret not getting their fill of wine while living...You didn't know I was superstitious did you? I'm not all that superstitious, it's just when things like this happen a childhood spent around superstitious "abuelitas" comes to the forefront.Yet this little "accident" caused by my blundering, awkward feet got me to thinking... We weren't given this life to "wait" for special times, or important occasions.We should eat on the good china-I don't have any at the present- but that doesn't take away from the truth, that life is meant to be savored.If it wasn't, would God have given us beautiful sunrises, breathtaking vistas, chocolate, or love?Our world is a crazy place, horrible things happen every day. Yet beauty remains. Kindness and hope fill most of our hearts. Focus on the positive. Smile. Dance when the opportunity arises, and if it shouldn't, make the time to dance.If there's one thing I've learned about life in Italy, is that it forces you to slow down, they don't call it "la dolce vita" for nothing.So my friends, I implore you to pop open that really good bottle of wine and toast a perfectly good mundane day.Because you may just have a Humpty Dumpty moment and spill your Moscato all over the floor.Or tomorrow may not come, and your bottle will still be sitting there waiting for that perfect time.Drink up life. Slurp it up. Pour yourself another glass and toast your "dolce vita".Cent' anni,(May you live one hundred years!)nicole
Blonde Hairspiration via Pinterest
After about five years of dying my strawberry blonde a darker auburn-or some variation, I've decided to go blonde -well mostly, I'm getting highlights. I was planing on getting it done prior to leaving Miami, but just didn't have the chance.Fast forward a few months and I still have that desire to go light. However, I'm in Italy now and I swear, like 90% of the population here is blonde. When we go out and about in town the number of women I see with blonde hair far outweighs that of black hair or brunettes. Forget about red, I think I've spotted about 3 red heads since I've been here and they've all been on base. I've not travelled farther than Venice yet, so I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Northern Italy, the women love to be blonde.So I've compiled a few of my favorite blondes via my Pinterest board "Oh so Pretty Hair" as a bit of hairspiration for my stylist tomorrow (which oh my gawd - am I hoping she is awesome!)Have I mentioned how much I miss having bangs? I do, but I've spent 9 months growing those bad boys out - I won't be going back into bang territory for a while.This is sort of my hair goal. Long, all (mostly) one length. I also like the darker roots which is why I'm opting for highlights.Cameron Diaz. Love her.This is a great highlight/lowlight.Is there nothing more quintessential and classic-glam beauty than blonde hair with red lips?Save
The Waiting Place
I had my annual skin check earlier this week.
I really wish I could've skipped the entire experience.
I enjoy these exams about as much as going to the dentist or that other annual exam I wish I could ignore.
You know the one ladies, as it also involves one of those crinkly paper hospital gowns--that are about as useful as a flashlight is to a blind man. (God knows they provide about as much warmth as one.) Which of course leaves one freezing, waiting for the doctor, because let's face it, I've never walked into a hospital or doctor's office where the thermostat wasn't set to sub-zero temperatures. Which of course meant that I was all goose-flesh when it came time for my exam.
Thirty minutes later I had a diagnosis of "this mole doesn't look right we should have this biopsied" scenario.
All I could think was, "Here I go again."
I've been cast into that slightly uncomfortable, I just want to have this be over spot, I like to call, The Waiting Place.
Basically, it's Purgatory here on earth.
As I walked to my car despite the overcast day, I could feel the threat of skin cancer blaring down on me like the midday sun.My heart felt heavy, and I'm pretty sure my eyes got all teary as I gave myself just a moment to accept that this is happening again.The mole in question is in the same spot where I had a-typical cells during my last skin cancer biopsy which, I subsequently had removed. So if something's grown back, I mused, It can't be good.To be honest, I'm feeling much more anxious about having to have this biopsy and the results this go-round. All I could keep thinking about where the statistics, as a Melanoma survivor, my risk remains higher I can get it again, which is why I must be diligent about my skin examinations and use of sunscreen, etc.
I'm trying not to think about it. Or talk about it. But it's my skin. It's kind of hard not to think about it when you have no other choice but to live inside of it.
Still...My biopsy isn't for about two weeks, so I'm certainly not going to go around moping or freaking out, because that would do me about as much good as the paper gown did, but until I actually get the results it will be there, lingering in the back of my mind.
If you're new to my blog or would care to read some of my other posts I've written on my experience, thoughts, products I use for my skin, and the topic of skin cancer, Melanoma, in general here are a few:
- Pale Is The New Tan August 2009
- Protecting My Skin July 2010
- To Be or Not To Be Skin Cancer July 2010
- The Waiting is Over July 2010
- Got Wet Skin? Need Sunscreen? No Problem! June 2011
- Melanoma Does Not Discriminate October 2012
Life Through My iPhone (2/13)
As things begin to wind down for us here in Miami, it seems as though our life is getting a lot more busy (how is that for irony).I thought I'd share a bit of my life through my iPhone.Last week my boys and I along with The Bestie, went out to dinner. As we waited for our table we strolled the mall. Where we acted silly and browsed though a store she dragged me into called Culture or something. It was cool. Reminded me of a gaudier version of Forever 21 - not really my style but I did find a few things that made me smile, especially their "pretty baubles".Valentine's Day was spent with my two boys. They made excellent Valentines in lieu of my husband's absence.I had some fun in the sun. (If you know me and my avoidance of the sun you get this. If not read this or this, or this.)Finally a late afternoon spent on The Beach playing in a playground.
Asleep in My Spectacles
I tend to fall asleep in my eyeglasses.(you know this)I wake to a book pressed against my spine.The television playing a rerun of Friends.I turn over, slip my hand beneath my cheek and drift off again;only to repeat this a few more times until my brain registers I can "see" and shouldn't be able to at 3am.Clumsy fingers set them on the table, beside my half-drunk glass of water.In the morning I reach for my spectacles and realize...it was youall those times...it was you who made sure I could find them in the morning.